13. The time leading up to retirement

After the announcement of a voluntary redundancy (VR) in October, I carried on as though nothing had changed or was going ever to change.  The routine work up to Christmas was eased considerably by the amount of time off I took to use up my annual leave.  The remarkable thing about working for a large company is that even when people are off sick, they still accrue holiday entitlement.  I hadn’t taken much time off for holidays during the year (there was no necessity) and so throughout the autumn I regularly booked the odd day as holiday.  This relatively easy time had lulled me into thinking that work was great, and I could cope with anything once more.

Outside of work, life went on as before, but the health scare a year earlier had brought it home to me about the fragility of life and the importance of making the most of it whilst still fit and well.  I began fitting many more enjoyable elements into my free time and I became more focussed on appreciating joyful things outside of work rather than allowing work to be the centre of my existence.  These activities included: buying a new road bike making sure to spare no expense in its specification; booking accommodation in Calpe for a cycling holiday with friends; signing up for a cycling holiday in the Alps and starting preparations for my 60^th birthday party in 2019.

But business is constantly evolving and where previously I would follow all organisational changes with a keen eye, trying to spot how I could take advantage of any new work opportunities, I found that I was becoming less interested.  Over the winter months a few managerial changes were announced, the most significant being when my boss declared that he was leaving to become the site director of the submarines business in Barrow-in-Furness.  I liked Gordon, and over time we had grown to understand each other.  He was thoughtful but very firm in his opinions and once he made a decision he stuck with it.  On occasions in the past I had tried to persuade him to change his views about things but I never succeeded.  But by now, I felt that I had the measure of him; I understood his views and if I didn’t do anything directly contrary to his opinion, I found that he’d leave me alone to make my own decisions.  Therefore, when he announced his departure I felt uneasy until I knew who the new Project Management Director would be.  I didn’t get on particularly well with the temporary appointee and feared that she might make things more difficult if she remained in post, but as things turned out, the new director was an old colleague of mine with whom I’d worked closely many years previously.  I knew that Richard and I would be able to get on well.

The organisational changes announced in February 2018 brought it home to me that I could no longer just drift along as I had been since returning to work.  The gentle start I’d been given when returning the previous May had long since ended and I realised that I would no longer be given any free passes.  This was still a competitive business and if I didn’t move with the times, I would become irrelevant and so I gave a huge sigh of relief on 11^th May 2018 when I was informed that my application to take VR had been approved.  For the next ten weeks, I continued to work diligently to try and complete the tasks I’d been set before I left.  The one thing that I stopped doing was to continue planning the introduction of lower level apprenticeships into the business.  This was something that was on my Personal Development Plan and I knew that it was something that Gordon was very keen on, but he had now left and I realised that I would never have to oversee its introduction so I let it slide.  Richard, my new boss may have been keen on the idea too, but as soon as my VR application was approved, he didn’t ask anything of me.

An aside.  I have been extremely fortunate to have many interesting experiences whilst working at BAE Systems including seeing several things I could never have anticipated.  Seeing the assembly of first Tornado and later Typhoon aircraft was almost routine, and even sitting in the cockpit of these and other jets was hardly remarkable.  But aircraft aside I have been extremely lucky to have taken a guided tour of HMS Daring (the first of the Type 45 destroyers), witnessed the launch of the 4^th Type 45 (HMS Dragon) and enjoyed a fascinating tour of the Devonshire Dock Hall which is the huge submarine assembly hall in Barrow-in-Furness.  The hall is over 50 metres high and covers an area of 8.5 acres!  The one thing that I never got to see (which I would have loved) was the launch of a submarine.  The only possible opportunity for this would have been to see HMS Audacious which was launched in April 2017 when I was still recovering from my operation.  Clearly at that time I was unable to pull in any favours and so I missed out.  HMS Agamemnon, (the sixth of the seven boats commissioned) was launched as I am writing this account (3^rd October 2024).   

From May onwards, I began taking note of the last time that I would do certain things: the last apprentice assessment centre, the last set of 12-week reviews, the last visit to an RAF base, the last Trailblazer meeting, the last CAT (Corporate Air Travel) flight.  The list went on.  I began to feel a bit melancholy when I was down to noting the last time I’d drive through the gates of Samlesbury site or the last time I’d enter a particular building.  Since I worked on a secure site, I knew that it would be very difficult ever to access the site once I’d handed in my security pass.  However, the last few days at BAE Systems were less traumatic than I’d feared – I didn’t know how I’d feel after 43 years of full time employment.  On Wednesday 25^th July I attended a leaving lunch with colleagues from Samlesbury which was lovely.  I didn’t have a speech prepared, but I felt that I ought to have had one.  The following day was a repeat for colleagues at Warton.  This was more formal, with Richard taking charge and presenting me with a lovely, framed print of a Tornado aircraft in flight.  The Tornado was the first aircraft that I’d worked on back in 1986 and the print was a photograph taken by the company photographer with whom I’d worked for many years.  All my colleagues and apprentices had signed the back of the print making it a very special gift.

The next day, Richard, Sharon and I drove up to Eskdale to see the 2^nd year apprentices who were coming to the end of their Outward Bound course.   Before we returned to Warton on the Friday, the Outward Bound staff gave me yet another presentation to commemorate the partnership that I’d set up with the Trust. 

My relationship with the Outward Bound Trust began when I attended a three-week training course in 1978.  Since then, I’ve had a strong affection for Outward Bound and in 2009 I found myself in a position to do something to repay the debt of gratitude I owed to the organisation.  Younger engineering apprentices already attended Outward Bound, but they went to Ullswater for a course more suited to 16-year-olds.  I needed something more appropriate to the older apprentices I was proposing to send.  Working with a couple of tutors from Outward Bound, an appropriate course was designed and after a few weeks of negotiation and wrangling over budgets, I managed to send the first group of apprentices to Eskdale in 2010 which became the pattern each year thereafter.  Later years also saw us sending apprentices from the naval business in Portsmouth, but the logistics of that proved very tough making me regret ever inviting them.

For the last year or so I was working out of both Samlesbury and Warton sites (I had desks at both) and therefore on Monday 30^th July I went into Samlesbury for my last day there.  There were very few people in the office on that day, and since I’d already had a leaving lunch there a week earlier, the farewells were easy and I slipped away quietly at the end of the day with my few belongings.  The following day was more emotional since I had many things to pack up.  I don’t have much recollection of the day itself other than being constantly interrupted with colleagues walking over to my desk to say goodbye. 

Other colleagues took time to say farewell in email form and I have collected all these together in a file – over 150 responses in total.  Many people knew me from what became known colloquially as ‘Bernard’s Blog’ which was a weekly communication that I sent to around 1,500 project management staff across the company which I expect is why the numbers of people who responded are so large.  Several people started their note with “We have never met, but…”  Out of interest, I have reproduced below the email that I sent out on my last Friday which elicited such a response.

Later that day, I left my laptop, mobile phone and security pass with my boss and once this was done, I had to be escorted off site.  It was all very formal and a bit awkward, but it was soon over and my career had ended.  Other colleagues had left in similar circumstances but after a few months they were back on site using their knowledge and experience to act as consultants for various things.  I knew this wasn’t for me: when I walked off site that day, I knew that I wouldn’t return. 

I felt slightly differently about walking away from the work on the Trailblazer working group.  Colleagues from Sellafield and Rolls Royce both asked me whether I would consider staying on as an independent member of the group to see through the completion of the tasks, but whilst I was flattered, I still declined.  I really felt that I needed to make a clean break and so the 31^st July formally saw the end of my employment in the defence industry.

Several people had advised that I may feel at a loose end when I suddenly stopped work so I began thinking carefully about how I would fill my time after July.  Before I could get too far with this planning I received an offer of work!  For many years Wallis Cycles had fulfilled most of my cycling needs, but it was only when buying a new road bike that I begin to get friendly with Martin, the owner.  In late May when I told him that I was retiring he simply asked without hesitation whether I wanted to work for him.  I repeated that I was hoping to retire, which meant giving up work, but he was adamant that I’d fit in well at the shop and that I should join him.  I thought about it for a few days and then agreed that it might be nice to have something to do every Thursday, which was the shift he was offering.  I already knew a fair bit about cycle maintenance, but Martin offered to teach me anything I didn’t know.  This suited me fine, and so from the end of June I started to spend time in the shop learning the ropes.  I retired from full time work on Tuesday 31^st July and on Thursday 2^nd August I started my first shift at Wallis Cycles.  The following week, I was left alone in the shop which was to be the pattern of my Thursdays for several years.

I still returned to chat with my former work pals over lunch occasionally afterwards, but I was particularly delighted in November to be invited by the chair of the Trailblazer working group to attend a reception at the BBC in London to acknowledge the formal launch of the Level 6 Apprenticeship.  BAE Systems generously offered to pay for my rail tickets, and as a concession, they even sent me first class!  I had a great time in the BBC boardroom sitting beneath a portrait of the first Director General, John Reith, who was looking down onto the meeting. 

Around the same time, I received a letter from American Express demanding payment of a sum owed to Avis which I didn’t recognise.  I’d handed in my Amex corporate card along with my pass in July, and I’d been sure to complete all my outstanding expenses before leaving, so I didn’t understand this at all.  It took several telephone calls before I managed to identify the root cause.  One of my apprentices who was based at RAF Valley had hired a car back in the summer which I’d paid for on my company Amex card which was normal practice.  However, whilst I knew that she’d had a bump in the car, I had assumed that this was all sorted before I left.  Several weeks after the incident, Avis (the company who owned the car) were looking to recover the insurance excess which they’d had to pay and obviously came to the person who’d hired the vehicle – me!  By the time American Express had tracked me down I was long retired and I no longer had an account with them.  It took quite a while and numerous phone calls to untangle the mess to ensure that BAE Systems paid Amex who paid Avis.  The person who crashed the car got away scot free!

By Christmas 2018 I felt that I was finally clear of BAE Systems’ work.  This became evident when I met a couple of former colleagues for a drink.  We were just catching up on events happening in the company, but I very soon realised that I could no longer join in with the discussions; they were talking about many people who I once knew well but had begun to forget about.  I even struggled to remember what the various acronyms meant as they were chatting.  I was amazed how soon it had happened.  On another occasion, perhaps a year after leaving, I took a phone call from a former colleague who had picked up part of my job and wanted further information about it.  I couldn’t answer immediately, and it took me several hours thinking back to long-ago events to bring back the memories.  It was made worse because I had no access to my old files, so I couldn’t even go back and refresh my mind about what I was thinking at the time.  The colleague never again rang for help.  I can imagine her telling all her mates that it isn’t worth calling Bernard; he’s clearly lost it and it was perhaps just as well that he retired when he did.

Chapter 14               A life in pictures