45. A Scottish quasi tour

Sunday 10^th September 2023

Several years ago (in 1991) I was looking to buy a car and an Austin Montego was on my shopping list.  The marketing for the diesel version played heavily on its excellent fuel economy; which was stated as being over 56 mpg which was remarkable for quite a large family saloon at that time.  A colleague just happened to say “You could drive to the North of Scotland on a tankful of fuel with that car” which planted an idea in my head.  Later that summer, I was on a trip to the far North West of Scotland (I refuelled on the way, though) and I was very impressed by the glorious scenery. 

Since then, I have returned to Scotland many times, but never to two particular areas I had visited on that trip: Applecross and Gairloch.  So tomorrow, I’m rectifying this omission and taking a bike to visit that area.  I’ll fit in a few other things to see on the way, but in essence, that is the purpose of the trip.

Three of us are going (if we can manage to fit everything in and onto the car) and we have several things we want to achieve.  I say ‘we’, but it’s mainly me.  These things are:

1. Re-visit Applecross, Gairloch and Torridon
2. Climb the Bealach na Bà
3. Ride between Auchtertyre and Kyle of Lochalsh
4. Ride to Rannoch Station
5. Visit Plockton
6. Ride to the end of the road in a couple of out-of-the-way places

I don’t think these will be challenging targets; the main challenge will be to reach them in the first place.  The closest is nearly 300 miles away and the furthest 430 miles, so that’s why I’m going for six days and breaking the journey there and back. Read on to see what happens.

Monday 11^th September 2023

The first part of the tour-that-isn’t-really-a-tour started at 9.30 after we’d loaded the car with three bikes, luggage and three blokes.  I faced a 200 mile drive to Stirling before beginning our first ride, which was a short trip South West from the city.

I thought Stirling was on a hill until I started on the ride but I was wrong.  I began climbing immediately and didn’t stop for six miles and over 1000 feet. But after that, it was all downhill from there. Really! 

Not too many photos, but there was one memorable moment when we were on a very quiet road with scarcely a car seen for miles when Jim felt the need to wither a few nettles in a quiet roadside spot.  Unknown to him, just feet away around the next bend was a chap (dressed in full Scottish regalia for some reason) studying the sky.  It turned out that he was navigating a drone which was hovering almost directly over Jim.  I hope he doesn’t show the local constabulary the footage! 

After passing through Fintry, we left behind the slight headwind and began to experience some welcome wind assistance for the journey home.  At one point, we were coasting downhill along a beautiful quiet lane with a great road surface, no cars and a tailwind!  What more could one ask?

After a shower, we hit the town, and in a place with a street full of bars and restaurants, we went to the first one we stumbled across and yet hit the jackpot with Nicky Tams bar.  I filled up on haggis, neaps and tatties (clichéd, I know, but I loved it) before heading downstairs to enjoy live music offered by a group of students playing Scottish folk music. The players weren’t all that skilled, but their enthusiasm and enjoyment was palpable.  I had to bail after three pints, but my companions carried on until I know not when – I never heard them come in later, since I was fast asleep.

Tuesday 12th September 2023

After a self-service breakfast, we were on the road again by 8.15.  Amazingly, there appeared to be more room in the car than the day before.  (It’s too early to know what we must’ve left behind yet).  Although the distance to Auchtertyre was only 165 miles, it took over four hours to get there on the narrow roads. 

Why Auchtertyre?  Well, although I have managed to show a continuous line from Switzerland to the Butt of Lewis, there is a six-mile stretch which prevents me from drawing a similar line up to John o’ Groats.  Although I’ve known about this omission for several years, since the gap is several hundred miles from home, I’ve never managed to close it until today. 

The ride started from a lay-by part way up a steep hill and we continued to climb a further 200 metres of vertical ascent before turning off the busy road and descending through tree-shrouded lanes all the way to Plockton.  Plenty of people had recommended this as a must-visit village, and I can now agree on their suggestion.  It is indeed a gorgeous place with spectacular views.

I was pleased to come across some Highland cattle on our journey. There were several who seemed quite happy to stop the traffic as they crossed the road. I was happy to stop and let them cross too. Jim did look a bit worried at one point when one made its way directly towards him. It only wanted to sniff his rear wheel, as it turned out.

Jim also had a gap in his continuous line, but his gap was a bit longer and stretched into Skye, so in order to rectify that we had to take a straight and boring main road full of fast cars and trucks.  However, the gaps are now filled, red lines continuous and both of us finished the day with smug looks on our faces.

It was just over an hours’ drive to get to the Torridon Hostel, and we enjoyed afternoon tea when we arrived. It sounds very posh, but when we’re involved it’s not usually as well presented as you might find in the Ritz. The hostel had better views, though.

I was in charge of food tonight, so I warmed up a delicious meal (Previously made by Geraldine, I must add) along with pasta and home-grown courgettes.  It was a bit challenging cooking the meal since there were insufficient large pans (the kitchen was very busy) meaning that I had to cook the pasta in two small pans and the courgettes in an even smaller pan.  Each ‘ring’ on the hob was a different power and so to get the pasta boiling (but not boiling over) one ring needed to be on power level 6 but the other one only needed power level 4!  It took quite a lot of trial and error to get it right.  This is knowledge I shall never need again.

I think the meal was successful overall, especially since we each finished off with a couple of Tunnocks teacakes in lieu of a pud.

Tomorrow is my attempt on the famous Bealach Na Bà, which merits 11/10 in Simon Warren’s 100 climbs book. I’m not sure whether I’m looking forward to it or not.  I’ll let you know tomorrow.

Wednesday 13th September 2023

I came on this trip to achieve a few targets and today I completed number two, that of climbing the Bealach na Bà.  This climb is a monster, starting at sea level and rising to a height of 626 metres in less than six miles.  It has the greatest ascent of any road climb in the United Kingdom and is the third highest road in Scotland.  

We set off at 8am, mainly because we had 60 miles and over 1,700 metres of climbing to achieve ideally before 3pm when rain was forecast.  It was a dry morning with a gentle easterly wind boosting us for the first ten miles although with the temperature hovering between 6°C and 10°C for much of the day, it was chilly.  I wore my rain jacket for most of the day, just to keep warm.

The climb itself started at 17 miles and took me about 53 minutes which I feel is respectable.  When I downloaded the ride, the ‘OFFICIAL’ segment didn’t appear on my Strava!  I’m sure I can find it somewhere when I get home.  And anyway, I have photographic evidence of me at the start and the end.  [I found it among the ‘hidden segments’ on Strava later]

The treat of the day was at Applecross (after a huge descent which thoroughly tested my brakes) when we saw a sign for ‘The Big Grill Society’ which was a couple of blokes in a van offering delicious bacon butties.  The pub opposite was shut as was the mobile chip shop beside it, so the bacon buts were in great demand.  Oddly enough, despite many people arriving each minute, the burger van closed at 11am which left the whole area devoid of refreshments.

The last 30 miles were along the coast so should have been flat, but you know Scotland; it doesn’t do flat.  Instead, the road undulated all the way home with almost as much climbing in the second half as there was in the first which contained Bealach na Bà.  How does that work?

We arrived at the hostel at about 3pm after around 59 miles, so since it wasn’t yet raining, I cycled up the road for a bit to reach 62.2 miles so that I could claim a century in kilometres.  (I never use kilometres, so why I deemed this important, I’ve no idea) 

Jim’s cooking tonight, so I’m now sitting writing this while he does all the work.  I’ll wash up, though.

We got chatting to a Canadian group (two couples) who had cycled 60 miles in from Inverness that day.  One gent looked weary and when asked he admitted that 60 miles was his longest ever ride.  Prior to that, he said 40km was his maximum.   No wonder he was insistent on a cold beer when he arrived.  He didn’t care what type of beer it was; it just had to be cold.

Thursday 14th September 2023

I’m an early riser, and I was delighted to meet a deer as he and I were breakfasting this morning: he on a tree branch, me on muesli. I went for a short walk to see an outdoor chapel that I recall seeing when I was last here 17 years ago, but didn’t see it. I enjoyed the walk, though.

The weather forecast wasn’t very good today; windy, showery and about 10°C, but at least we only had a minimum of 32 miles to go.  Of course, we did more miles than that since my route included a couple of diversions.  The first 10 miles were with a stonking tailwind which was wonderful, and although there was a bit of rain in the air, and the temperature was only around 8°C, the ride was still wonderful.

Then we changed direction, and suddenly things changed.  We had a headwind and experienced several brisk rain showers.  The rain was cold in itself, but with a 20mph headwind it felt colder, and stung like hail.  (The spell check function just changed the word ‘hail’ to ‘hell’ and now I’m no longer sure what I actually meant!)  But these showers only lasted about 10 – 15 minutes each so we had time to get blow-dried after each one.  The worst of the showers was at the start of the steepest climb of the day which was particularly unpleasant.  The only good thing about the wind and rain was that it was directly into my face, so my bike-packing bag strapped to my saddle never got wet.  If I’d had panniers, they’d certainly have copped it.

Time for an aside

For me, a tour is when I travel from place to place carrying all my luggage.  For this I usually use panniers, but this week, since four of the six planned rides start and finish at the same place, I didn’t need panniers and so I opted for a lightweight bike with a bikepacking bag which I’d never used before.  I must say, for a short trip, it was ideal.  And that’s why I’ve called the ride a quasi tour, because it isn’t really a tour by my definition.  Anyway, back to the story.

We called into a pub which had been widely advertised through hoardings along the road, but when we arrived at 11.45, three chaps who worked there were sat chatting on one of the outside tables.  “Are you open?” we asked. “Not until 12” came the reply.  “Oh OK, we just want a brew and perhaps a cake?”.  “We don’t open until 12” repeated the man.  Right.  We got the message and continued following a road still into the wind (but no rain (and no other refreshment places!)) towards a viewpoint at Redpoint. 

The road didn’t go anywhere and so traffic was minimal but the views of open sea through 180° was marvellous.  We were looking out towards northern Skye and in the distance, the isles of Harris and Lewis.  When I got to the end of the tarmac road, I noticed that there was an additional Veloviewer tile within striking distance, so I set off to get it. As I got closer, I realised that TWO tiles were achievable, so I abandoned the bike and jogged off for a couple of hundred yards.  Mission accomplished!

A wonderful tailwind assisted us all the way back to the junction with the A832 where we turned left and headed into Gairloch for coffee and cake.  Jim & I carried on afterwards to the end of another road heading to Melvaig, while Dave mooched around in town to buy a few provisions.

I received a pair of retro cycling mitts as a gift recently. They have tan leather padded palms with white string-back on the outside. In the dry, they are wonderful, but when it rains like today, the leather tends to leak a bit and so by lunchtime, my hands looked like I’d been a bit careless when applying false tan.

Although my route suggested turning back at the end of the metalled road, when we reached that point, the tarmac continued and so we bagged a couple more tiles.  The lady at the hostel later asked whether we’d gone up to the lighthouse, so it seems we weren’t at the end of the road after all.

I had fish and chips for tea at the Barn Café tonight, which was about a mile away.  We didn’t have dessert since Dave had kindly bought us a couple of Tunnock tea cakes each so we enjoyed them with a cup of tea back at the hostel.

The Canadian group had followed us there and so we chatted to them at length.  One chap was a forester, and I now know all about foresting in Canada.  He was also asking me about Scotland’s strategy on developing their own forests in the mountains.  (I’m not familiar with UK government policy on that subject – then again, I suspect neither are the current UK government) so I just gave my own thoughts and opinions.  I’m a bit embarrassed to admit that although my answers may have sounded feasible to a foreigner, I confess to making up a lot of stuff. (I hope he isn’t reading this)

Friday 15th September 2023

I’ve no idea what Eddie Grundy (from The Archers) looks like, but I definitely heard him this morning.  He had spent the night in our dorm and I heard him whilst he was arranging breakfast with his companion.  He didn’t say anything like “I tell you Clarrie, this scheme will make our fortune”, so I couldn’t be SURE it was him, but the accent was spot on.

There were no cafés open at 7.30, so I bought a ‘wee breakfast’ at the hostel which was basically a full breakfast without the fried bits.  This set me up well for the day, along with some cheese and pickle butties left over from the day before.

Today, we were heading back to Torridon, but before that, we rode to Poolewe and then continued up the west side of Loch Ewe for no other reason than because the road was there.  At the northern end, we stumbled across a memorial to commemorate the surviving veterans of the Arctic Convoy.    This wasn’t terribly thrilling, but it did have a great silhouette statue.  On the way, I picked up a few stray Veloviewer explorer tiles if they happened to be close.  One of them involved a short hike along a beach accompanied by a small dog.  I never found out who the dog belonged to; he was just there on the beach.  Perhaps he was owned by the guy in a small boat who was collecting lobster nets in the bay.  We were back in Gairloch by lunchtime so I enjoyed a scone and a coffee here before continuing to Kinlochewe.

Earlier in the week, I’d realised that on my Veloviewer map there was a nine mile stretch of road which, if ridden, would connect the last three rides with those of the rest of the country.  Since I was still feeling good, I decided to go for it.  What I didn’t realise until it was too late was that the additional 18 miles involved crossing the Glen Docherty pass.  This was only about 240 metres high, but on a very fast (but not too busy) road.  I’m happy now that the continuous red line I’m building on Veloviewer has another link.

The evening light was gorgeous tonight so I went for a walk along the loch shore after tea to find the outdoor chapel at Am Ploc.  I looked for it half-heartedly on Wednesday, but unknowingly walked within a few feet of it without noticing.  I found it tonight, although by the time I arrived, the sun had set behind a cloud, so it didn’t look at its best.

We’re heading South to another hostel closer to home tomorrow, but I’ve planned a 34 mile ride along the way to break up the journey.  

Saturday 16th September 2023

Another fine day!  This is great, since the weather appears to be better here than in England.  We’ve another 4 hours driving today, interspersed with a 34 mile ride.  The ride is a piece of unfinished business since in 2014 I went on a ride which encircled Loch Rannoch.  At the head of the Loch, I would have liked to have ridden up to the railway station, but time was against me, so I didn’t do it.  That five mile stretch of tarmac has beckoned ever since.

Scotland’s great, but it’s too far away.  I reckon that I live in ‘the North’, but even after a three hour drive South today, I find I’m still nearly 300 miles from home.  I’d driven down to Kinloch Rannoch to cycle up to Rannoch Station and tick off target number four. 

At the station there’s a café which is run by a lady who enjoys her 23 mile each way commute to work.  She was from London and admitted that were it a 45 minute commute where she used to live, it wouldn’t be nearly as attractive.

The road to and from the station was lovely, with barely any traffic and no hills.  After the last few days, this was a pleasant relief.

Another 80 minute drive saw us at our digs for the night in Crianlarich.  Food at the local Rod and Reel pub was excellent, and now we’re finishing off at the hostel with tea and biscuits. (Hey, they’re chocolate hobnobs: we know how to live!)

Sunday 17th September 2023

From being the first up in the dorm on most days this week, today, I found I was almost the last, lying in until 06:15.  I think the hostel is full of people up for the weekend so they’re making the most of their short break.  Consequently, we were on the road soon after 8am and after a smooth drive south, I was home in Brindle by noon.  Jim & Dave still had a few more miles to travel (20 miles and 80 miles respectively) so although I felt sorry for them, they’d spent several hours just watching the scenery pass them by for the 850 miles that I’d driven this week.  (For the record, and to assuage my green credentials, we’d collectively ridden over 950 miles between us)

During the week, I’ve cycled 320 miles, climbed 5,950 metres (19,500 feet) and I’ve filled in gaps in my continuous red lines on Veloviewer. Now I find that I’m even more disappointed that the rides I did through the Cairngorms in 2011 were pre-Strava and so haven’t been recorded.  If they were, I’d already have a link between Blair Atholl and very close to Inverness.  That’s clearly the next gap I need to concentrate on. 

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